Stories From Above–when food attacks edition
Before I forget, please note that certain words (like “Cheerios” in paragraph three) in this blog post (and my last one for that matter) are gray. If you click on those (or open them in a new tab with CTRL + T), you will see pictures which correspond with words. It’s sorta like a children’s book. Word + picture = recall. The cow says…..moo.
My day started with breakfast at the team hotel. It was a free breakfast, so I expected something decent. I couldn’t complain. I had two muffins and a few cups or orange juice. I was just about comfortable with the amount I ate, but cereal was going to be the coup de grace (This is not to be confused with the coup de tat. That’s where the Frosted Flakes seize the waffle machine and all of its batter in a rush of strategic genius.)
So, I walked over to the Cheerios, grabbed a bowl and looked for the milk. One white jug of 2% and…..another white jug of 2%. Come on. Drinking 2% milk is like cleaning out your refrigerator. It’s disgusting and there’s always someone else who enjoys what’s found while doing it.
With zero cereal in me, I hit I-528 west and zipped over to Orlando to meet the Simones. With the Nationals all the way in Jupiter to play the Cardinals, we decided to take in the Braves and the Mets at the Wide World of Sports Complex at Disney. In the first two innings, we saw six runs, former Toledo Mud Hen Mike Hessman, former Pawtucket Red Sock, Minnesota Viking and X-Files Creator Chris Carter (who hit a torpedo of a homer against Derek Lowe) and former Charlotte Knights Manager Razor Shines. Some of the stars were resting.
In the third inning, I was lured by a concession stand selling slushies. The flavors available were cherry, lemonade and mixed. I–like anyone else with the sensory systems of a teething four-year-old–chose “mixed” in a heartbeat. Problem, though. I was second in line. The father, daughter and granddaughter trio in front of me couldn’t decide what they wanted. They chose an order of churros and a cheesesteak for a main course without much hesitation. The drink was the sticking point. The granddaughter asked for a sweet tea. Vendor said no. I was a little frustrated, but I thought it was ultra-cute that the tiny red-headed kid ordered a sweet tea at the equivalent of a hot dog cart.
Then, the girl picked “water.” Woman at the cart: “We don’t have any, sorry.” You don’t have water? Is this baseball competition happening in Khartoum? Thankfully, the daughter spied a bottled beverage stand adjacent and took Picky Orphan Annie with her.
It wasn’t over, though. No no. The patriarch of the family got his Churros and almost instantaneously erupted a fit of rage. Seriously, he went emotionally from 0 to 60 in about 1.5 seconds.
Man (fiercely): There are only two Churros here.
Woman at cart: That’s what an order is.
Man (angrily): The menu says three. I know I read somewhere that you get three!
Woman: No sir, two.
Man (screaming, now): The sign, here, it shows three!!!!
The guy didn’t get his Churros. Was he in the right? Does he have a valid claim of false advertisement? Is the representation more prominent than the writing? You be the judge.
Tomorrow, Nats and Astros. Keep an eye out here, on youtube.com/syracusechiefs and on our homepage.