Good afternoon from Alliance Bank Stadium and thanks for joining us. Coming up next, Rate the IL Hotel! But first, the pick six:
23….and the super ball…..
Congratulations to the winner, whoever you are! It’s your lucky day!
Now, it’s time for the game show where the mint is always under the pillow, Rate the IL Hotel! Here’s your host, Jason Benetti!
Thank you, thank you. Hopefully we’ve got a winner in store for you after the poor performance by the Comfort Inn Pawtucket last week. Today’s hotel:
The Rochester Plaza!
Remember the rules: I’ll give you the positives and negatives of the hotel, then assign it an arbitrary point value between 0 and 50.
They Said It: “Standard crash pad that provides a riverfront view and within walking distance of two IL staples: Dinosaur BBQ and the sandwich store next door. Horrible room coffee provisions but the shop downstairs makes up for it if you can get there early.”
–Ben Wagner, play-by-play announcer, Buffalo Bisons.
1) Coffee shop and restaurant in the lobby. Totally underrated amenities, as Ben alluded to. A hot libation in the morning with minimal travel cost can gussy up a dreary day real fine. And, if the food at the ballpark for players, coaches and radio types wasn’t enough, the ability to grab a meal close by postgame is a treat. By that time, the last thing anyone needs is a 15-minute walk to the sports bar.
2) The beds. Very fluffy.
3) The ballroom. Only because it draws such upstanding, well-connected groups as the New York Association of Hostage Negotiators.
1) The internet….again. Hotels should watch more game tape. If they did, they’d realize that molasses web-browsing can really ding performance on this program. Rochester’s Plaza has two wireless internet connections: rocplaza and rocplaza73. In order to do anything of substance, one must alternate between networks. Early returns on either network are decent, but–like a trip to the beach with an open wound on your leg–the longer you surf, the worse it gets.
2) The coffee shop;s hot chocolate. Milk and water. Don’t do it.
3) “Pardon our dust.” That’s the sign which was posted near the elevators upon our arrival. It stated that renovations were in progress on floors three, four and five. Being in 417, I got to see (and hear) this close-up. Two men were redoing the wallpaper in the maze-like hallway outside the room. While I was in the shower on Friday, it sounded as though the hammer was coming through the wall. Josh Whitesell told me that a staple gun (which rhythmically clicked three times, stopped and started again) woke him up around 8 A.M. I certainly applaud the self-improvement by the hotel. The major issue is that, by renovating floors three, four and five simultaneously, the seven-floor hotel is affecting about half its guest rooms at once. The sign really should read: “Pardon our dust. A plurality of rooms will allow for normal sleep during your stay.”
4) The name of the hotel. When I first stayed in the hotel back in ’05, it was called the “Crown Plaza Rochester.” Since then, it has dropped the franchise and re-named itself the “Rochester Plaza.” Creative. This sleight of appellation makes me think of this website (http://www.notfoolinganybody.com
which chronicles buildings which were once restaurants and now are, not so subtly, other things. My personal favorite is the IHOP-turned-auto dealership.
Tough break, Rochester “Plaza.” See you in August.
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Chiefs and Mud Hens tonight at 7. Join us, won’t you?