Rate the IL Hotel!–Durham edition

It’s time once again for America’s fastest growing sensation, the game which never is disturbed when the sign’s on the door……


And here’s your host of Rate the IL Hotel….Jason Benetti!

Well, thank you Charlie, and it’s good to be back with all of our viewers.  We’d especially like to say hello to our departing sponsor, the folks at Tyler’s Tap Room in Durham.  They were a positive influence on the program for at least one day, but now will be withdrawing because of a lack of funding.  Their air conditioning is out and all of the cash in the till is going toward a new unit.  Thanks, Tyler’s, for your partnership, your 90-degree restaurant and, most of all, your garlic fries. 

On to the game and today’s competitor……

The Durham Marriott!

Situated on beautiful Foster Street, the Durham Marriott has housed the Chiefs and other IL riff-raff in my two years along for the ride.  I’ll list the pluses and minuses of the hotel and, as always, assign an arbitrary score between 0 and 50 issued by our panel of judge.


  1. 1) Location.  The Marriott is about a three-block walk from Durham Bulls Athletic Park (DBAP).  Near the park, you’ll find a cavalcade of restaurants which serve dishes ranging from pizza, Cuban food and standard sports bar fare.  And, just in case you forgot which state you’d been traveling in, these restaurants are located inside something called the American Tobacco Historic District.   It is labeled such a name because the restaurants and shops are all operating out of former tobacco warehouses.  A journey to the website of ye olde historic district generates some sad news.  Seems as though the annual duck race inside the historic district was scrubbed this year.   Had there been a 2010 event, you might have purchased a corporate armada for a cool thousand dollars.  http://www.americantobaccohistoricdistrict.com/news/ducks.asp
  2. 2) Posh rooms.  The motif is summerish with oranges and golds ruling the dcor day.  I almost feel as though I’m living inside a lava lamp.  That would be a neat existence–except for the whole scorched-by-molten-liquid thing.
  3. 3) Needless amenities.   There’s a hairdryer in my closet.  Were they expecting Betty Rizzo?


  1. 1) Internet.  An old story with a new twist.  I arrived at the hotel around 10:30 PM on Thursday night after watching the Bulls douse the Clippers.  I entered my sixth-floor room and opened my computer to find a wireless single which was less than desirable.  By that, I mean dial-up quickness.  So, I called the front desk–as I am prone to do–to ask about fixing the signal.  The woman indicated that there had been no noted problems on the floor.  She then gave me a phone number for the technicians who service the internet.  Despite my lack of interest in speaking to them, I rang the techs.  **Aside:  If the hotel advertises free wireless and the wireless does not work, the customer should not be the one responsible for the service call**

After waiting idly for five minutes, I realized that the problem may not be a broken router, but my location.  So, I grabbed my computer, walked onto the elevator and popped off at floor two.  I promptly fired up my laptop and found the signal to be speedy.  So, I called the front desk and asked for a change of venue.  It is clear that the Durham Marriott, eight floors tall, has too few wireless routers.  Let’s pass the hat.

  1. 2) Missing pieces.  Last summer, the hotel had a huge jug of lemon-infused water sitting on an oval table just off the elevator bank.  That jug no longer exists.  I may be a snob, but the hotel loses points for this refreshing giveth and taketh routine.
  2. 3) TV shortage.  While I applaud the purchase of flatscreen TVs, I was aghast at the channel selection.  Specifically, the lack of Nickelodeon and TV Land.  I grew up with old timey television.  I enjoy watching Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke while going to bed.  Sadly, now, the channels I mentioned no longer play those shows.  Believing that the suits might revert back to their old format and that Murray Slaughter or Rob Petrie will appear, though, I go to bed watching Nickelodeon and TV Land.  I was unable to keep hope alive.  This saddens me tremendously.

Final score:  39   

Tune in next time for the Norfolk edition…..coming soon to a blog near you…..

Chiefs and Bulls tonight at 7:05.  Back home tomorrow for Scott Olsen and Jason Marquis back-to-back rehab assignments.

Follow us on Twitter @ChiefsRadio.  I demand that you do so.

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