Chiefs Culture Challenge: Subway Pizza vs. Domino’s Sandwiches
Clever selection by JB this week. And it’s one I was pleased to see – I had already completed half of the challenge many times over, and the other half required me to eat at one of my favorite food places. Is there any way this could go wrong? Find out next…on Masterpiece Theatre.
Sorry, wait, where were we?
Oh, right, food. This week’s assignment was to compare pizza from a sandwich place (Subway) and sandwiches from a pizza place (Domino’s). This, of course, assumes Domino’s is actually a “pizza” place, which I believe to be a misleading headline. Domino’s pizza is actually terrible and has been made worse over the past few years, even though the thought of it always tastes good at around 1:45 AM on a Friday night during your junior year. Then the reality sinks in to the tune of somewhere around 12 dollars.
Anyway, I began searching for an alternative somewhere around those junior years in my four-person Watson Hall suite, and discovered the unbridled joy that is the Domino’s chicken parmesan sandwich. To the shock and surprise of anyone who has ever ordered Domino’s, these things actually taste like a real sandwich. A greasy, lathered in unhealthy nonsense sandwich, to be sure, but a real, actual sandwich! I’ve always found that the Domino’s chicken parm sandwich is best enjoyed with a small bag of Lay’s potato chips and a “dessert” order of CinnaStix. One word of caution: this is a really bad way to start your night if you have any other plans, because you will not want to move immediately after.
To eat the chicken parm sandwich, I placed an order to Domino’s. This would have been much easier up in Syracuse, as “Dominos SU” is the name of a contact in my phone. I think it must be a Domino’s rule that you have to get food delivered – has anyone actually ever been inside a Domino’s “restaurant”? Has anyone ever sat down and eaten there? I’ve probably ordered from Domino’s at least 50 times, 49 of which were in college, and never once have I stepped inside an actual building. For the sake of my personal health, this is probably a good thing.
So the Subway pizza was the scary part of this assignment. My assignment started today, when one of my friends and I were discussing the challenge – but we weren’t sure if the nearest Subway by my house actually carried pizza. I’ve been to Subway at least 200 times, I’d imagine, and never once have I thought to order a pizza. In fact, never once have I seen anyone actually order a pizza. Matters were only made worse when we looked at the subway.com menu to find no evidence of pizza. Alas, I thought, this half of the challenge might have a shorter lifespan than Rob Gronkowski’s post-Super Bowl shirt.
But onward I trekked to the store (which is basically a 60-second ride, not exactly a trek) to find that yes, Virginia, there is a Subway personal pizza! (TM) For the low, low price of five dollars, I could acquire a personal Subway cheesy delight. I walked up to the counter, still unsure if the food actually existed outside of the poster displaying it, and asked the woman behind the counter “can I have…a…pizza?” She then turned and disappeared into the back for about two minutes. I imagine at this point she was doing one of three things: a) trying to conceal her hysterical laughter, b) going into the secret pizza room in the dungeon, or c) crouching under a dresser drawer to dust off the most recent pizza from two years ago.
Either way, the pizza – a round, four-slice personal one – came saran-wrapped. Good start. The woman behind the counter (we’ll call her Anastasia, for absolutely no reason at all) then turned on the oven. Which was an interesting choice…since she didn’t use the oven for anything. She unwrapped the pizza and put it in the microwave. Alllllrighty then.
Two women came up on line behind me, and I then hurriedly ordered a six-inch sandwich, to avoid embarrassment and also give myself an edible option post-pizza. The pizza came out of the microwave, and Anastasia placed it in a Subway pizza box, which amazingly was not from 2007. I took it home after walking by the two women, one of whom said to her compatriot “they have pizza here?” I know, right?
But what of the taste? Well…it was fine. The same level of taste you’d expect from a mushy Celeste pizza for one made in the home oven, really. It reminded me slightly of Pizza Hut, which is never a good thing, because I don’t think I’ve eaten at Pizza Hut since age six. All in all, I’m still standing, but there was really nothing to recommend about this. In the category of things I never thought I’d say in any context…advantage, Domino’s.
JB, you’re up next, and it’s on to the podcast world for you. I know you’re a big follower of This American Life and other podcasts, so maybe we can add a new one to your repertoire, as randomly selected from http://www.podcast.com. (Actual website.)
Your assignment: let me know how you enjoy the popular podcast The Nutrition Diva: Quick and Dirty Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous. Choose from such episodes as “What are Nightshades and Do They Cause Inflammation?”, “Will Eating Breakfast Help You Lose Weight?”, and of course, “Is Chewing Ice Bad For You?” (Goodness, I hope not.)
Check it out here: http://www.podcast.com/S-1167.htm
Love to hear from you out there as always…shoot over your ideas to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com. Best idea wins an arbitrary prize to be decided later.