——

I like having Woody Allen face us right away. Feels like we’re kind of intimately linked to the character. Is he conscious of the movie of his life?  This is slightly bizarre. Are all the characters now talking straight to the camera?

I know why I like this so far, this is just a 8-minute version of Curb Your Enthusiasm. That must be why Jason picked it.

I totally sympathize with Woody Allen for not wanting to go in to the movie after two minutes. I hate doing that too. Nicely done, Woody.

The dialogue in this movie theatre scene is just exceptional. This is an absolutely amazing scene. I could watch this about ten times over.

“Why are you so hostile?” “Because I want to watch the Knicks on television.” Woody has an early onset case of Linsanity.

So does the kid on the left.

“What’d you do, grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting?”

This initial visit to Annie’s house is just about the most awkward encounter of all-time. In fact, I have no idea why Alvy is still there. Still sort of endearing, though.

“I have bad plumbing and bugs.”  ”You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

Christopher Walken is here! Just tremendous. Woody Allen in a rabbi outfit! Nearly as tremendous.

“Well, I have to go now, Dwayne, I’m due back on the planet Earth.”

The only thing Annie Hall is missing.

Woody stopping random people on the street is amazing. I love when he meets the couple who admits they are shallow and empty.

“Darling, I’ve been killing spiders since I was 30.”

Hapy to see Alvy and Annie get back together. Didn’t think I would care that much about this fake romantic relationship.

It took an hour and seven minutes, but Paul Simon is here and I am thrilled. I saw his name in the opening credits. Paul Simon makes everything better.

I imagine the scene where Woody Allen sneezes and blows the cocaine everywhere was the first of its kind, since I have feel like I have seen that at least three other times.

Woody Allen calling the laugh track “immoral” is amazing. And I totally agree.

Case in point.

I’m not taking many notes because I’m just soaking in all the great lines. But Paul Simon’s character going to the Grammys is a funny little self-aware touch. Speaking of funny, Woody Allen trying to drive.

——

What a great movie.  There is no action here, no great sense of adventure, no plot twist, no one memorable scene, no overuse of music, no slow-motion – just lots of talking.  I don’t know if I’ve seen five movies in my life with better dialogue than Annie Hall.  I certainly can’t think of one off the top of my head.  I was unfairly upset at Annie Hall for a bit since it unfairly beat out Star Wars for Best Picture at the 1978 Oscars (and let’s face it, nothing should have beat out Star Wars) but it’s absolutely a deserving winner as well.I’ll probably buy this one.  Woody’s latest, Midnight in Paris, was my favorite film of 2011, and this is certainy a notch up on Midnight in Paris.  Thoroughly enjoyable.

Hey, speaking of Midnight in Paris…

From Woody Allen to Woody Allen we go.  Jason, you get the 2011 version of the world’s most neurotic director for next week.  Bonne chance.

Spring Training is underway down in Viera, Florida on the ol’ Space Coast.  Look for updates from Nats camp as Kevin and I come to you live from camp.  We’ll have all sorts of goodies.  Maybe even candy.

Since we are not there yet, we figured we’d give you a primer from one of the best sources for Nats news, Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post (AdamKilgoreWP on Twitter).

Jason Benetti: What do you think the chances are that Bryce Harper starts the season in Washington?

Adam Kilgore:  I don’t think they’re that good.  I think there’s some reasons why you’d want him on the team.  His talent.  He’s a really talented guy.  He gives them a powerful bat in the middle of the lineup.   The reasons against are stronger.  Despite the fact that he is so talented, he’s never played a full professional season because he got hurt last year.  Also, he doesn’t have  600 at-bats as a professional.  That’s if you count spring training and the fall league.  He doesn’t have that much experience and he’s never played above Double-A.  We all know that Mike Rizzo is really adamant about developing players fully before they get to the majors.  He believes correctly that the way to make a mistake is to leave a player in the minors too long as opposed to bringing him up too soon and having to send him back to the minors.  That can be a catastrophe with a player’s confidence.  He would have to have to do everything pitch perfect this spring and probably then some to make the team. 

On the business side of things, where if you just wait a month, you’re basically ensuring another year that he’ll play for the Nationals before free agency.  You could be sacrificing one year at 25 for one month.

JB: What positions are up for grabs in spring training?:

AK: There’s three spots.  One would be the utility infield spot between Steve Lombardozzi and Andres Blanco.  For Lombardozzi, if he makes it, the challenge would be getting him enough at-bats.  You don’t want to curb his development.  They want to take advantage of what he brings, they don’t want to make it completely difficult with Zimmermann, Espinosa and Desmond.

Number two would be the last bench spot, Blanco, Lombardozzi, Jason Michaels, Brett Carroll, the non-roster guys.  They probably want that to be a right-handed bat.

The last spot would be the last guy on the pitching staff, probably the last guy on the pitching staff which, if healthy, probably has to be Wang because he has no options left.  Detwiler no options.  Lannan does have an option.

One pitcher, two bench players and that’s pretty much it. In years past, they didn’t even know if they had five starting pitchers and that’s a sign of a team that’s going nowhere.  That that’s settled in mind-February is a sign of how far they’ve come.

JB: So then what are you focused on this spring?

AK: Good question.   I’d like to see how the team comes together.  It’s kinda not been talked about too much, but how Desmond and Espinosa progress.  That’s gonna determine a lot of how good this team is going to be if they can take the next step.  

Morse playing in left.  Going back to the outfield.  How does he handle year two?  Is he more comfortable? 

I’m also really excited to see what Edwin Jackson can develop like.  See if he can make the changes the Nationals want in his delivery.  They think he might be 1) tipping pitches and 2) showing the ball too early to hitters from the wind.

JB:  Davey Johnson:  what does he do differently in year two?

AK:  No, I think he’s going to be a lot different.  He wasn’t really comfortable with the team based on the way Jim Riggleman managed the bench and the bullpen.  Maybe less defense on the bench, more hitting.  He wants to feel really comfortable as far as innings go in the bullpen.  Last year they basically had no long men.  He wants to have two this year (Gorzelanny and Detwiler).  They might have the swagger he brings to the team.  Even though Davey comes off as a folksy 70-year-old guy, he’s actually really cocky.  I think that’s going to rub off on the Nationals in a good way.  He wants guys who aren’t afraid to challenge other teams.

JB:  Finally, how much do you think the Nationals harmed their farm system in the Gio Gonzalez trade?

AK: Ultimately they feel like they gave away three guys you could find.  Peacock is probably a third or fourth starter.  Milone is probably a fourth or fifth starter.  It’s not like they gave up talents they won’t be able to find elsewhere every year in the free agent market or in a trade. Derek Norris, I would say the same thing, they like him but this guy has not hit much higher than .200 his past couple of years despite some really awesome on-base percentages.

The one guy, if you gave them a lie detector test, said who are you most worried about in that trade, they’d say no doubt A.J. Cole.  He has the highest ceiling.  6’5″, they paid him two million dollars to sign, they drafted him in the fourth round.  He has a huge upside.

———————
Coming up Thursday, Kevin does Annie Hall.  Angst and wit.

Jason

Kevin has decided that I, evidently, don’t eat well enough nor do I feel fabulous enough.  This week, my challenge was to listen to a podcast called “The Nutrition Diva:  Quick and Easy Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous.”  Kevin claims this podcast was randomly selected.  I believe him.  It was randomly selected from his iTunes.

The most recent episode is the one I caught.  It’s entitled “Mastering the Art of French Eating.”  Creme brulee sounds nice.

The diva, whomever she is, seems like a very welcoming woman.  She has a soft voice which very easily could be your tour guide through Tomorrowland.  She’s evidently spent the last few weeks in France.  This has led her to attempt to “adopt the French attitude toward food.”  30 seconds in, all I’ve learned is that the French have a lower obesity rate than we do.  Great.  Low-hanging fruit.

She has just told me–in a very appalled tone–that I am going to be shocked when I find out how much butter and cream is involved in haute cuisine.  Can’t wait.

We’re 96 seconds in and the woman has simply called the French pigs.  Nothing with a “little heart healthy icon” on a menu there, according to the diva.  Sorry, self-proclaimed diva.

This is the first time anyone has ever uttered the phrase “in my recent episode on coconut oil.” I have a feeling this will start a trend of coconut oil pordcast references.

…”you might remember her book ‘French Women Don’t Get Fat’”…come to think of it, I don’t.  And I never will.  Who writes these books?  Who reads them?  Who doesn’t burn them accidentally in a campfire?

Here’s the deal: The French don’t snack.  Ever.  That’s what I learned.  The art of French eating is to use a lot of butter and never snack.  I feel like a master of French eating. In six minutes and two seconds.

So, in order to prepare a French meal for Opening Day, I will:

1) Go to the grocery store

2) Ignore the snack food aisle

3) Buy lots of butter

4) Eat what I buy

Looks fantastic.  Thanks, nutrition diva.  Dig in.

Please check out the February 3rd episode, dear readers.  And let us know what you think.  It’s your own culture challenge:  http://nutritiondiva.quickanddirtytips.com/creamy-mushroom-soup.aspx

Next week on the Culture Challenge….

We go to the Top 100 Films of all time, according to the American Film Institute.  Kevin fancies himself to be sardonic and irreverent.  And so, he will review a movie that is rather sardonic and irreverent.  It’s the Woody Allen/Diane Keaton classic from 1977, Annie Hall.  Kevin’s review next week….as long as it doesn’t get ravaged by Cossacks.

Send us your challenge ideas:  jasonbenetti@syracusechiefs.com or kevinbrown@syracusechiefs.com.

Jason

——–

Kevin Brown: I hear you’ve had an eventful offseason so far.

Seth Bynum: I’m a proud papa.  I have a little daughter, she’s six weeks old – Madison Jade.  It’s life-changing.  It’s awesome.

KB: How stressful is it being a first-time father?

SB: You get worn out.  You don’t get much sleep.  You have to coordinate with your wife, your partner on how things go, but overall it’s wonderful.

KB: She didn’t accompany you to Syracuse, obviously, but your dad Kurt is here.  Is this his first trip to Syracuse?

SB: First trip to Syracuse, yep.  I wanted to bring him, I showed him around town today so he’s like a kid in a candy store.  He’s pumped.

KB: I know last year he got to go to Fenway Park for the game and he said he was a lifelong Red Sox fan.  You had a big day, too, with a couple of hits.  You reflect back on it now, a couple of months after – how much fun was it?

SB: It was awesome. You can’t explain it into words.  I mean, ever since you’re a little kid you want to play in that ballpark.  You go there, your first game there, and your father’s there, the one who’s coached you your whole life…it was a great moment.

KB: So outside of the new kid, what’s your offseason been like?

SB: It’s been interesting.  I went to Venezuela and played there for a month.  I struggled a little bit, but it was a culture shock for me.  It’s a different world, a different experience but I loved it.  I’ve just been working out and getting ready for the season.

KB: I know a bunch of different guys from the organization were down there in the winter…did you play with anyone from the Nationals?

SB: I played with Carlos Maldonado – he actually got me the job down there.

KB: First time playing winter ball ever?

SB: I played in Puerto Rico three years ago.  But Puerto Rico and Venezuela, they’re totally different.

KB: What is the difference?

SB: The crowds.  In Venezuela, you get 20,000 people a night.  Puerto Rico’s on the come-up, I heard, but when I played there, there weren’t many fans.  (In Venezuela) they heckle you, man, they’re all over you.

KB: You’ve got a new manager this year, Tony Beasley.  What’s your experience with him?

SB: I don’t know much about him, but I know the people that play for him love him to death.  He wants people to play hard and he loves his players.  I’ve hear
d nothing but great things about him.

Sorry, wait, where were we?

Oh, right, food.  This week’s assignment was to compare pizza from a sandwich place (Subway) and sandwiches from a pizza place (Domino’s).  This, of course, assumes Domino’s is actually a “pizza” place, which I believe to be a misleading headline.  Domino’s pizza is actually terrible and has been made worse over the past few years, even though the thought of it always tastes good at around 1:45 AM on a Friday night during your junior year.  Then the reality sinks in to the tune of somewhere around 12 dollars.

Anyway, I began searching for an alternative somewhere around those junior years in my four-person Watson Hall suite, and discovered the unbridled joy that is the Domino’s chicken parmesan sandwich.  To the shock and surprise of anyone who has ever ordered Domino’s, these things actually taste like a real sandwich.  A greasy, lathered in unhealthy nonsense sandwich, to be sure, but a real, actual sandwich!  I’ve always found that the Domino’s chicken parm sandwich is best enjoyed with a small bag of Lay’s potato chips and a “dessert” order of CinnaStix.  One word of caution: this is a really bad way to start your night if you have any other plans, because you will not want to move immediately after.

To eat the chicken parm sandwich, I placed an order to Domino’s.  This would have been much easier up in Syracuse, as “Dominos SU” is the name of a contact in my phone.  I think it must be a Domino’s rule that you have to get food delivered – has anyone actually ever been inside a Domino’s “restaurant”?  Has anyone ever sat down and eaten there?  I’ve probably ordered from Domino’s at least 50 times, 49 of which were in college, and never once have I stepped inside an actual building.  For the sake of my personal health, this is probably a good thing.

Hey, is that a Gateway 98 system?

So the Subway pizza was the scary part of this assignment.  My assignment started today, when one of my friends and I were discussing the challenge – but we weren’t sure if the nearest Subway by my house actually carried pizza.  I’ve been to Subway at least 200 times, I’d imagine, and never once have I thought to order a pizza.  In fact, never once have I seen anyone actually order a pizza.  Matters were only made worse when we looked at the subway.com menu to find no evidence of pizza.  Alas, I thought, this half of the challenge might have a shorter lifespan than Rob Gronkowski’s post-Super Bowl shirt.

But onward I trekked to the store (which is basically a 60-second ride, not exactly a trek) to find that yes, Virginia, there is a Subway personal pizza!  (TM)  For the low, low price of five dollars, I could acquire a personal Subway cheesy delight.  I walked up to the counter, still unsure if the food actually existed outside of the poster displaying it, and asked the woman behind the counter “can I have…a…pizza?”  She then turned and disappeared into the back for about two minutes.  I imagine at this point she was doing one of three things: a) trying to conceal her hysterical laughter, b) going into the secret pizza room in the dungeon, or c) crouching under a dresser drawer to dust off the most recent pizza from two years ago.

Either way, the pizza – a round, four-slice personal one – came saran-wrapped.  Good start.  The woman behind the counter (we’ll call her Anastasia, for absolutely no reason at all) then turned on the oven.  Which was an interesting choice…since she didn’t use the oven for anything.  She unwrapped the pizza and put it in the microwave.  Alllllrighty then.

Hey! I paid 5 bucks! What a ripoff!

Two women came up on line behind me, and I then hurriedly ordered a six-inch sandwich, to avoid embarrassment and also give myself an edible option post-pizza.  The pizza came out of the microwave, and Anastasia placed it in a Subway pizza box, which amazingly was not from 2007.  I took it home after walking by the two women, one of whom said to her compatriot “they have pizza here?”  I know, right?

But what of the taste?  Well…it was fine.  The same level of taste you’d expect from a mushy Celeste pizza for one made in the home oven, really.  It reminded me slightly of Pizza Hut, which is never a good thing, because I don’t think I’ve eaten at Pizza Hut since age six.  All in all, I’m still standing, but there was really nothing to recommend about this.  In the category of things I never thought I’d say in any context…advantage, Domino’s.

—–

JB, you’re up next, and it’s on to the podcast world for you.  I know you’re a big follower of This American Life and other podcasts, so maybe we can add a new one to your repertoire, as randomly selected from www.podcast.com.  (Actual website.)

Your assignment: let me know how you enjoy the popular podcast The Nutrition Diva: Quick and Dirty Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous.  Choose from such episodes as “What are Nightshades and Do They Cause Inflammation?”, “Will Eating Breakfast Help You Lose Weight?”, and of course, “Is Chewing Ice Bad For You?”  (Goodness, I hope not.)

Check it out here: http://www.podcast.com/S-1167.htm

Love to hear from you out there as always…shoot over your ideas to kevinbrown@syracusechiefs.com or jasonbenetti@syracusechiefs.com.  Best idea wins an arbitrary prize to be decided later.

The first three months of last season were adorned with glitzy, yet effortless defense from the shortstop position thanks to a young man from New Jersey named Chirs McConnell.  His flair between third and second was a nightly treat.  His bat, though, admittedly, was behind his defense.  I caught up with Chris by phone today and asked him about his winter, his offense and his budding literary career.

Jason Benetti: What are you doing in the offseason?
Chris McConnell: Baseball lessons.  In the afternoon until night I basically give individual lessons or team lessons.

JB: What do you teach?
CM: Hitting and infield.
JB: Where do you do it?
CM: It’s a baseball academy that a kid a year older than me who used to play pro ball.  He got a hold of me on Facebook and wanted to know if I wanted to do lessons so I’ve been doing that for the past two offseasons.
JB: You go anywhere on vacation?
CM: I saw some friends in Massachusetts.  Then, we went up to Maine for a few days.  I went to Florida.  New York and Philly right near me.  I had a friend from California come.  That’s pretty much where I’ve been.

JB: You ready to play baseball again?
CM: Yeah, you know this time of year it gets boring around here and I’m ready to take off and get the season going.
JB: When did you know you’d be back with the Nationals?
CM: Four days after the World Series, you’re a free agent.  Even before then my agent was talking to Doug Harris and he said they wanted me back.  I kinda knew around October I was going to come back.
JB: Was that a good thing?
CM: Yeah.  My agent talked to Doug and they said we envision Chris as a big-leaguer and not just a fill-in.  Saying they wanted me back as a free agent felt good.  I didn’t want to go to free agency.  I liked where I was at so I signed back.
JB: Did you feel like you were hitting the ball better in Harrisburg (after being sent down)?
CM: I learned a lot from Troy Gingrich.  He knows a lot about hitting.  I really wasn’t using my legs.  I knew it for years but I didn’t know exactly what….I couldn’t put two and two together.  He noticed it the first two days I was there and started putting it into the games.  It’s hard to learn something so big mechanically and put it right into the games.  I could definitely see the results.  It’s not the result I wanted but I think it set me up better for this year.
JB: Have you been working on that this offseason?
CM: Yeah.  A few drills we did in Harrisburg, I pretty much do them every day when I hit.  It’s pretty much getting cemented in.  It’s pretty permanent now.
JB: How frustrating was Syracuse last year?
CM: It was frustrating.  It was my first time in Triple-A.  I guess for a few weeks I tried to use that as an excuse for me to feel better.  It never came around.  I was disappointed.  I was a free agent with a new team and wanted to impress.  It never came around, but hopefullyI learned something from it.  I think this year I’m definitely going to benefit from it.
JB: Was there a part of you when you went to Harrisburg thinking, “Where do I go from here?”
CM: I wasn’t ever worried about my career so much.  It was more trying to make the best out of it.  What am I gonna do.  I think earlier in my career I would have been real mad.  There’s nothing I can do about it and tried to make the best of it.
JB: You read any good books this offseason?
CM: Yeah, a good amount.  I finished school, so I had all of those books.  Ever since I’ve gotten done, I’ve had all this free time.  Power of Myth by Steve Campbell.  The Dharma Bums, which is a Jack Kerouac book.  I started reading Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman, but that comes in spurts.  I’m always reading newspapers and stuff.
JB: What’s spring training for you?
CM: I enjoy getting down there at first because I’m stuck inside all the time so to get outside and do all that.  By the third week, everyone wants to go to their affiliate and just start.  You’re just playing the same team over and over and you just want a change of scenery.
JB: Is there anything good to do exploration-wise in Viera?  I know you’re a big explorer….
CM: Melbourne has a pretty good little downtown.  Every other Friday they had live bands downtown and I’d make my way over there.  Or, me and my wife would go to the beach.  I didn’t have cable or internet in my apartment.  I literally had nothing to do.  I didn’t have furniture.  We just had two director’s chairs and an Aerobed.  I would get home, sit for a little bit, get bored and go wander off somewhere.  I can’t sit and lay on a beach.  I get bored too quick.
JB: You said you finished school.  What’s your degree in?
CM: I got my associate’s in December.  Now I’m going to take a few months off and go ahead and get my bachelor’s in the fall, September.  This’ll be the first time in two years I actually won’t be doing any homework  in the baseball season, which is a relief.
JB: You told me by text that you’re having something published.  Is that still happening?
CM: Yeah.  In April.
JB: And what is it?
CM: It’s kinda, basically just a short story.  It was just—there’s only so much to do around here.  I just wrote this up and sent it in to a few places.  It’s getting published, I guess in April in Ascent Aspirations magazine based out of California.

————————-
As an aside, Chris McConnell is rather humble about this “short story” he’s having published.  He sent it along to me and, frankly, he’s a sharp guy who deserves a whole bunch of credit for going to school while playing baseball—and also, on the side, letting his creativity seep out.  Check out the magazine publishing his stuff at www.ascentaspirations.ca.
He doesn’t like to publicize his work. But, we will.  After it’s published in April, we’ll post a bit of it here on the blog.  Here’s hoping we see Mac in Syracuse this year.

Culture Challenge Thursday…..Subway v. Domino’s.  On a neutral site.  Kevin’s got the tale of the tape.

Jason

Tickets for the event, which will be held at the Holiday Inn Convention Center on Electronics Parkway,  are still available: $55 for adults, $25 for children 12 & younger, or $500 for a table of ten.  You can call our ticket office at 474-7833 or stop by the ballpark to pick up tickets.

Proceeds from the event will benefit the Syracuse Chiefs Charitable Foundation, Inc., a 501(c)(3) corporation which implements programs to improve the health and educational opportunities of families and youth in the Central New York community and provides financial assistance to other 501(c)(3) organizations with similar purposes.

5:30pm -

Doors open, cocktail hour and silent auction begin

We’ve got some great items up for bid this year including game-worn equipment, autographed baseballs, bobbleheads, collectible photos, and even a couple of autographed basketballs.

Also during the cocktail hour fans will have the chance to purchase numbered “raffle bats” for a chance to win one of 12 great prizes, including baseballs autographed by Bryce Harper, Stephen Strasburg, and Ryan Zimmerman.  The bats will be $5 each and even if your number isn’t called you’ll still end up with a nice souvenir from the evening.

7:00pm -

Dinner is served: Yankee pot roast with green beans almandine and twice baked potato, spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette or white zinfandel dressing, apple pie

8:00pm (approximately) -

Program begins with remarks from Onondaga County Executive Joanie Mahoney

Mike Frost will say a few words on behalf of Ovations Food Service, the new concessionaire at Alliance Bank Stadium

Presentation of the Tom Higgins Bull Pen Chief Award to George Schunck

Presentation of the Jake Meyers Great Guy Award to Victor Gallucci

The following guests will address the crowd:

• Former Chiefs pitching coach & former Major League All-Star pitcher Bill Monbouquette
• Syracuse Chiefs infielder Seth Bynum
• Washington Nationals Assistant General Manager Bryan Minniti
• International League President Randy Mobley
• Washington Nationals Director of Player Development Doug Harris
• Syracuse Chiefs Manager Tony Beasley
• Washington Nationals Vice President of Player Development Bob Boone

Announcement of the Syracuse Baseball Wall of Fame Class of 2012

Induction of Carlos Delgado into the Syracuse Baseball Wall of Fame

For those of you joining the Culture Challenge in progress, each week either me or Kevin selects something for the other to try.  Music, movies, TV shows, food, books.  It’s all on the table.

This week, I’ve been dispatched to Manchester, England circa 1995 to review Oasis’ hit LP (What’s the Story) Morning Glory.  As of seven days ago, I knew–and enjoyed–two songs on this album.  That number is significantly higher today.

First, an aside.  Oasis is–much to Kevin’s sadness–no longer together.  Three years ago, Oasis founder Liam Gallagher found himself at sixes and sevens with the group’s lead guitarist.  That lead guitarist also happens to be Liam’s brother Noel.

Here’s Noel’s account (via the music muckrakers at Huffington Post):

“I’ve never had enough of Oasis. Our own relationship was never as bad as people made out, but it wasn’t, we weren’t like milli Vanilli… what that means, I don’t know. It kind of all started to unravel, if I’m being honest, when he started his clothing label, and demanded that in the Oasis tour program, that he be allowed to advertise it, which I was against. I didn’t think that it was right for him to be flogging his gear to our fans, and there was a massive row about that. And it kind of went back and forth for a bit, as I remember it, and I said alright, and if you want to advertise in the program, how much? And he couldn’t get his head around that…”

There’s more, but the most entertaining portion of the fight is this:

“And on the way out he picked up a plum and he threw it across the dressing room and it smashed against the wall. Part of me wishes it did end like that, that would have been a great headline.”

Not quite....

As an aside, the end of Oasis–and some of the group’s music–is reminiscent of the fate of Charlie Pace and his brother in the television series “Lost.”  Charlie is one of the castaways on the original Oceanic Airlines flight which crashed into the original island on the show.  Charlie and his brother–both British–co-founded an alternative rock band called Drive Shaft.  In the end, the group broke up because of familial infighting between the two siblings.  Charlie’s brother’s name, by the way, was Liam…hmmm….

Liam and Noel are Oasis no more, so fans have to slake their thirst with musical stopping points from the past.   Morning Glory does the trick, I’d say.  Seventeen years later, a review with special emphasis on the lyrics.

For the last few days, I’ve been letting this album play while I do random things.   Let’s face it, listening to an album all the way through is the only way to do it.

When I put the CD on,  I thought “Wonderwall”–one of two songs I knew–was first.  The guitar in the first 12 seconds is rather similar.  Then, a wonky hornish sound blares and the driving beat takes us into “Hello”:

“We live in the shadows and we had the chance and threw it away
And it’s never gonna be the same
’cause the years are falling by like the rain
And it’s never gonna be the same
Till the life I knew comes to my house and says
Hello”

The hard-charging guitar masks some terribly depressing words.  It’s all gone.  Everything.  Until something random happens.  Then it’s back.  Hi.

This is one of the catchiest Track Ones I’ve heard in a while.  It’s one of the top four Stick-in-your-Head tracks on the CD of 12.

Before we go any further, it needs to be said that there are really only 10 tracks on this disc.  Track 6 is called “The Swamp Song (Version 1)” and is 45 seconds.  Track 11 is labeled “The Swamp Song (Version 2)” and is 41 seconds total.  Each is an instrumental.  You know how NPR plays music after its stories to give listeners a chance to digest?  That must be what the Swamp Songs are for.

I'm Robert Siegel...in a hat...

They must not be terribly important–Kevin, the self-proclaimed Oasis “fanboy” doesn’t even have them on his iPod.

On we go….

Track 4, Don’t Look Back in Anger is eminently pun-able.  Plus, it’s got some superb opening lyrics:

“Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don’t you know you might find
A better place to play”

While this could also apply to a team (say the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees), it gives us all individually hope to change our thoughts.  Well done.  Also, there’s:

“Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it’s night or day
Please don’t put your life in the hands
Of a Rock n Roll band
Who’ll throw it all away”

Prescient.  But, to be fair, Oasis didn’t throw “it all” away.  Just a piece of fruit.

Track 8, Cast No Shadow, is accented by some rather haunting background singers.  “As they took his soul, they took his pride” in the chorus carries along with it some falsetto Dan Brown backup work.  It seems to be both angelic and demonic:

The title track might be the Stick-in-your-Headiest of the bunch that I’d not heard.  It sounds like it could easily be an alternate theme to some little-watched Saturday AM teen dramedy.  Like Hang Time.

Let’s be honest, though.  The reason this album is lovely and memorable is the Pippen-Jordan-esque combo of Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova.

Listen to the eerie but clean run of the vocal in “landslide.”  Spectacular.

“Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out.”  “Maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me….”

We all want a Wonderwall, don’t we? (Awwwwwww……)

Great album.  If you haven’t listened to it recently (or ever), it totally holds up.  Flip it on.  You’ll enjoy.

As yet, we haven’t tried out any food on the Culture Challenge.  Let’s change that.

Have you all been to Subway recently?  Have you looked in the crannies of the menu?  Subway, in a fit of integration, has decided to serve pizza.

Domino’s Pizza, seemingly to counter, has opted to invent sandwiches.  Rook to E5, indeed.

Who will win?  Subway Italiano?  Or the Domino’s Deli?

Kevin tells us.  Next week on the Culture Challenge!

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Email us your consumption ideas.  Find us at jasonbenetti@syracusechiefs.com or kevinbrown@syracusechiefs.com.

Randy Knorr’s headed back to the bigs this year.  Syracuse’s 2011 manager will serve as bench coach on Davey Johnson’s 2012 staff, a move that came as to a surprise to a bunch of people – including Knorr himself, who figured he was Syracuse-bound again.  I caught up with the always-entertaining Randy yesterday, who was happy to chat about baseball and other games that involving hitting a white ball.  (Fore!)

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Were you surprised when you got the job?

Yeah, it was a surprise.  They didn’t really talk to me until almost a month after the season – actually longer than that.  I didn’t find out till the week before Thanksgiving.  I just figured they were going with someone else – it kinda shocked me when Davey called.

How much are you going to miss managing?

Well, for me, the bench coach is managing without making the decision.  I’m gonna follow the game and in my mind I’m always thinking about what I’d do – in a sense I will be managing without making the moves.  But I’ll miss managing for sure.  I love managing and instructing, and hopefully we can get back to teaching.  I think teaching in the big leagues is a lost art, we need to get back to that…some coaches don’t because of what their salaries are.  But there’s still a lot to learn in this game.  Frank Robinson told me “Don’t ever close your eyes or close your ears, because there might be something you’ll miss.”  For him to say that to me, what does that tell you?  It might be an approach to get through to a player you want.

What do you think about the makeup of the team right now?

I went up there in September and they played very well, it was fun to watch them and it looks like they can carry over to this year.  We beat some good teams, the Braves and Phillies, and I put us right up there with them.  Health is going to dictate a lot.

One of the big moves the Nationals made was the Gio Gonzalez trade.  He’s a great player, but I imagine you’ll miss Tommy Milone and Brad Peacock.

Yeah, when you’re around guys for as long as you are around those guys, it’s tough.  But you look at the trade – it’s gonna benefit them and benefit us.  They probably weren’t gonna have the chance to start the year in the bigs with us.  Now the last time I’ve seen Gio was in A ball, he was striking out ten to twelve guys then.  He’ll occasionally get behind hitters, but he’s got the stuff to get out of jams.

Tony Beasley will take over for you in Syracuse.  What’s your opinion of how he’ll fit in?

Actually, I think he’s gonna be pretty good.  In 2006 he was the third base coach in the big leagues, and last year we had a lot of Double-A/Triple-A conversations.  I think he’s gonna do well.  I like what Doug Harris has done and the scouting department for getting some of these players, too.  And they get (Greg) Booker back and Troy Gingrich who is highly regarded, he’s our best minor league hitting instructor.  Troy brings knowledge and work ethic, he’s relentless, hes very patient, and I think that’s a big key to success.

Have you done any baseball work  in the offseason?

A couple friends of mine run the St. Petersburg college baseball team and I’ve come down and helped them.  It’s been a lot of fun for me.  I’m not in charge and I can say whatever I want.

That could be dangerous.

Yeah it is, because I think there’s a profanity law in schools and that doesn’t work with me.  *laughs*

What else have you done in the offseason?

I did figure out one thing this offseason – it’s absolutely amazing how bad I am at golf.  And I play twice a week.  I refuse to take a lesson because I figure I’ve got the rest of my life to learn how to play.  But I play a lot of golf by myself because I’m so bad.  I’m not as bad as Barkley though.  All my friends are good – I played with (Auburn manger) Gary Cathcart and (Nashville hitting coach) Al LeBoeuf and I really thought they were going to just send me home.  I play at 3:00 in the afternoon so nobody else is coming and I don’t hit anybody.  I can shoot par if nobody sees those 11 shots on a hole.  Sometimes the card reads 82 – if I hit it off a house three times and get it in the fairway the fourth time, I figure those first three don’t count, right?

They sure don’t count for me.

Well, I’ll tell you what, it might be the death of me.  I might break a club or something on a course when nobody else is around and accidentally stab myself.  I haven’t broken any clubs this year, though, so that’s good.

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Today’s lesson: don’t go golfing in the same area code as Randy Knorr.  Send us your suggestions for players and coaches, past and present, at kevinbrown@syracusechiefs.com or jasonbenetti@syracusechiefs.com and we’ll try and ring ‘em up.

KB

Cats is the second-longest running play in Broadway history.  It is also based off of a T.S. Eliot book, which makes sense in some other world.  I do not recall anyone ever telling me they have seen Cats, however, despite its longevity.  But my mom (it’s a good culture challenge when you defer to your mom for advice) told me the most famous song from the musical was titled Memory.  We’ll start there…

Fun fact: Barry Manilow covered this song!  Therefore, Jason would like it.  It’s easy to see why this is the big show-stopper of the play – it’s sung from the vantage point of a person, er, cat, who seems to be reminiscing about the good old times.  But that’s a universal theme of sorts, and this is a song that has no allusions to cats or feline life or nature.

Would Jason like this? Absolutely.

Next, there is a song on the right side of the page called “Rum Tug Tugger.”  Obviously, I have to choose this next, because when else do you get to listen to a song called “Rum Tug Tugger”?

So this starts with a cat that looks like Mick Jagger jumping out and growling.  He then dances like Mick Jagger.  Here is the first stanza of the song:

“If you offer me pheasant I’d rather have grouse
If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat then I’d rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse then I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat then I’d rather chase a mouse”

I am continually told that the Rum Tum Tugger is a “curious” cat.  Yep.  Curious works.  This is not particularly good-sounding, and it is hideous to look at.

Would Jason like this? About as much as eating a mouse.

Next, by randomly chosen on-the-side-of-YouTube selection: “Macavity: The Mystery Cat.”

This is a totally different sound from the Rum Tum Dum Dum Tugger Tailor Soldier Spy fellow…the previous one is an upbeat, electric guitar and horn-filled romp.  Not good, but a romp.  This is a slow-burning jazz-y spy-sounding theme.  It has a neat instrumental sound behind it, and the singer is competent and less David Bowie-esque here.  The song rhymes with “Macavity” with “gravity,” which surprisingly works.  I feel sufficiently intrigued about the whereabouts and doings of this Macavity follow after this.  Of course, none of makes sense outside of the musical, but it’s not that bad.

Would Jason like this? On a good day.

Next up, because I can’t believe this is a real title: “Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer.”

Really, do not adjust your computer screen.  Those are words.  (Or at least pretending to be.)

These two, I’m told in the lyrics, are notorious cats.  There’s also a ridiculous British accent that’s employed by one or both of the cats at times.  The tempo picks up after about sixty seconds – and so does the horrendous accent usage.  And then it slows down after 30 seconds.  What is happening here?

Would Jason like this? Oy, ah don’t ratfully thank so.  Et’s blimey bloodey rubbish, et is.

OK, one more…”The Old Gumbie Cat.”  Perhaps this is similar to “My Old Kentucky Home”, or “Old McDonald Had A Farm”, or the theme song from “Gumby.”  Let’s hope it’s the latter.

Well, any hope of this blog post ending in a strong fashion is completely shot after the following opening lyrics:

“I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots”

By the way, this is not sung in a wink-wink kind of tone…it is totally straight-faced and dramatic.  Also, this video has 101 likes and 3 dislikes on YouTube.  What are you doing, America?  Oh, another profound lyric…

“She sits, and sits, and sits and sits!
And that’s what makes a Gumbie Cat…and that’s what makes a Gumbie Cat!”

Then a bunch of lady cats join in.  I should mention that first part was sung by a man, which is the first time that’s happened in any of these songs.  I really can’t listen to this one anymore.  It’s quite bad.

Would Jason like this? Did Mitt Romney want to release his tax returns?

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In summation, this was a better ratio than I expected: two songs that I enjoyed, three that I really did not.   Now I don’t want to entirely bash the musical because of it, because I’m sure it all makes sense in a connected-story type of fashion.  But let’s just say I won’t be clawing my way to the front of the line for Cats any time soon.

(Get it?  Clawing?  That was a joke.  This is a statement of that fact.)

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I’ve been a bit mean so far in the challenge, infiltrating Nic Cage and Rob Schneider on the world: so now I’ll play nice.  Jason, your next task is to listen to perhaps my favorite album of all-time, and one from my favorite band: Oasis’ (What’s The Story?) Morning Glory.  It’s part of Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums Of All-Time (#376) and probably a top three album for anyone who lives in Great Britain.  If you don’t like this one, I might work for free this year.  (I say might because you went to law school, and I’m not taking any chances with that one.)

As always, shoot your ideas over.  We want ‘em.  We need ‘em.  kevinbrown@syracusechiefs.com or jasonbenetti@syracusechiefs.com will do the trick.

KB